How to help depressed people?

Depression. Even pronouncing this word makes us uncomfortable.  Unfortunately the fact is people go in depression. But when they come out of it and defeat the depression, they become leaders. They become inspirational.

When someone who is close to your heart goes in depression then you always want to be with them. You want to show your unconditional love and support. You want to help them and you want to try your best to pull him or her out of the negative state of his/her mind. I still remember, few years back one of my close friend went in depression. Extreme Depression. We used to meet every evening and had lots of fun. Suddenly he stopped meeting. No phone calls. He wasn’t picking up my calls. Some weeks later, got to know about him from his parents. I was very upset.

Few weeks later, we met again but not at our regular meeting point. He wanted to meet me at some isolated place. We met. That day I got to learn a bit of ins and outs of depression. I reacted with positive energy and we talked what he loved the most, body building. With god’s grace, he is back.

be strongMake sure your own health and happiness are rock solid before you try to be depressant.

Make sure you are positive enough and don’t let victim’s negative energy and despondency enter in your shielded body.

??????????????????????????????????????????????They need steady, supportive friends to rely on in their times of need. If you’re the friend of a crestfallen and are confused, don’t know how to react or help your beautiful friend then follow these simple steps. I know, reading is different and implementing is bit different but still we can try our best to give a helping hand.

  1. Be a Good Listener – Listen emphatically. Be a compassionate listener. Don’t give advice. Try to understand them and you only can understand them by listening. Once they get a little bit of faith in you, they will open up slowly. It will take time but be patient. They surely will.
  2. Appreciative Smile and Be Polite – Always keep smiling when you interact with the victim. Be polite. Your smile will act as a biggest motivational reason for them. Again your smile must not get converted into laughter as they may take it in a negative fashion. Initially they might feel uncomfortable but as I said once they get faith in you they will start absorbing your positive energy from your smiling face and politeness.
  3. Support – Be supportive. Remember they went in depression due to some reason. afmc-depressionReason could be anything. Support them. If they tried to do something in past and failed miserably, then support and ask them to try again and make them feel that this time you will help him/her in achieving the goal.
  4. Encouragement – Encourage them at every point. Whatever point they make, even they seems wrong at some point, encourage them and simply don’t negate their words. The reason being is, if you try to negate their sentences then again it may hurt their feelings and which furthermore take them to deeper negative thoughts. Depressed people always think that whole world is against them. If you can’t be affirmative then simply don’t say anything. Just listen.
  5. Don’t make personal comments – Making personal comments may make depressed person angry. Personal comments should never be made even to those who are happy and positive. It affects the person. Believe me, it may encourage the victim for destructive attempts in anger. Decisions made in anger always ruin our lives.
  6. Respect their Isolation – They prefer to remain in Isolation. Even you feel negative vibrations in their isolation, don’t show to them but respect it and slowly try to make them comfortable. As time passes, you can try to ask them to come out of isolation. You need to be patient, calm and most importantly extreme positive. It takes time.
  7. Praise them – Try to understand what they like the most or what they liked in happier times. Praise genuinely and make them feel good. Ask for their advice. Talk what interests them and what they did to achieve their interests in past and praise genuinely. Make them realize that you can do it again and more effectively.
  8. Never mention about their depression. Never say words like, ‘You are in depression’ or ‘ You seems to be upset’ etc. No. Never. By using these words, you are simply making them realize that something extremely wrong with them and there is no solution to come out of it. Just imagine, if you have a wound in your leg which is giving you a hell of pain and some insect bites on that wound. How will you react? By using these words you are simply scratching their wounds. Rather make them feel that they are fine and these are temporary.

getting-over-depressionI may be wrong with the above mentioned steps as am neither an expert in handling depression/depressed nor a doctor. I am a novice, learning from experts (like you), and reading posts/books.

Please drop your valuable points and how you deal with such situations as it would be learning experience for all of us.

Keep Smiling…. 🙂

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Don’t Telecast your Past

One beautiful morning, I along with my two friends, went to our society garden for a walk. It was a beautiful morning with sun smiling above us, birds were singing the morning rhyme, and dank green grasses beneath welcomed us. We could feel the chilly breeze on our face. It was serene and tranquil dawn in which we felt like three butterflies enjoying the essence of flowers.

As we broke into conversation, one of my friend started blaming his luck, his life, his society, his family and his past. He started throwing negative vibrations and soon we could see his outburst.

boomIt was a burst of grunge in the garden of flowers like a jet of negativity in the ocean of positivity.

Believe me, we left that place within fifteen minutes. My day came to an end before even it had started.

Before you read further, let me ask you couple of questions.

“Do you carry your past together?”

“Do you (sometime) remember those horrifying moments which drain your energy out of your soul?”

If you nod affirmatively to the above asked questions then you are drifting a bit from your positive path and if not rectified soon, it will going to take your life downwards sooner or later.

We all are human beings and we take our previous memories together. It’s a human tendency. The question isn’t about remembering mistakes or criticisms which we did or received in our earlier lives, but the question is taking those hair-raising time along with our lives and more importantly allowing those memories to ruin our present and future. These are like slow poison which kill you gently.

It’s like entering in a dark tunnel where you see nothing. Complete darkness. Complete black out. No light, still we move further with hope and faith on our little baby steps. Time may be daunting but with brave heart we move towards the search of light, towards a ray of hope. We come across some difficulties, we stumble in between still we never stop. We keep moving in search of that hopeful torchlight.

Finally, when we come out of the dark tunnel, we embrace the light. We dismantle the mask of fearful and dress the shield of relaxing attitude and wear smile.

This tunnel journey do teach us many things. It makes us internally strong and teaches us about patience and courageousness.

What will you carry along with you: A negative memory (darkness and stumbles) or a positive one (learning experiences) from this tunnel journey?

You said right, obviously a positive ones and will make sure that we do not repeat the mistakes which we did.

What will happen if we constantly carry those weirdo negatives and indulge ourselves in scary and spine-chilling thoughts?

I have seen many people across my circle, who keep talking about their failures, past negative experiences, illnesses etc. and once you listen to these people, you start feeling a negative vibes in the positive atmosphere like fishy smell in the garden of roses.

Its like carrying burdens on your own shoulders.

Result: They get trapped in the negative web and overthrow their own life. And their family’s life.

We must learn from our past but we should never carry them on our shoulders all the time. Covert those time into learning lessons and change your day, your life.

“Forgetting bad time leads to good and beautiful life.”

Keep Smiling… 🙂

Story of a Cactus

A cactus stood all alone in the desert, wondering why it was stuck in the middle of nowhere.

I do nothing but stand tall here all day,” it sighed. “What use am I? I am the ugliest plant in the desert. My spines are thick and prickly, my leaves are rubbery and tough, my skin is thick and bumpy. I can’t offer shade or juicy fruit to any passing traveler. I don’t see that I am any use at all.”

 

All it did was stood in the sun day after day, growing taller and fatter. Its spines grew longer and its leaves tougher, and it swelled here and there until it was lumpy and lopsided all over. It truly was strange-looking. “I wish I could do something useful.” it sighed.

By day hawks circled high overhead. “What can I do with my life?” the cactus called.

Whether they heard or not, the hawks sailed away. At night, the moon floated into the sky and cast its pale glow on the desert floor. “What good can I do with my life?” the cactus repeated. The moon only stared coldly as it mounted its course.

A lizard crawled by, leaving a little trail in the sand with its tail. “What worthy deed can I do?” The cactus asked.

You?” the lizard laughed, pausing a moment. “Worthy deed? Why you can’t do anything! The hawks circled way overhead, tracing delicate patterns for us all to admire. The moon hangs high like a lantern at night, so we can see our ways home to our loved ones. Even I, the lowly lizard have something to do. I decorate the sands with these beautiful brushstrokes as I pull my tail along. But you? You do nothing but get uglier every day.

And so it went on, year after year. At last the cactus grew old and it knew its time was short.

Oh Lord,” it cried out, “I have wondered so long and I have tried so hard. Forgive me if I have failed to find something worthy to so. I fear that now it’s too late,” but just then cactus felt a strange stirring and unfolding, and it knew a surge of joy that erased all despair. At its very tip, like a sudden crown, a glorious flower suddenly opened in bloom.

Never had the desert known such a blossom. Its fragrance perfumed the air far and wide and brought happiness to all passing by. The butterflies paused to admire its beauty, and that night even moon smiled when it rose to find such a treasure.

The cactus heard a voice. “You have waited long,” Lord said. “The heart that’s seeks to do good reflects my glory, and will always bring something worthwhile to the world, something in which all can rejoice – even if for only a moment.

Moral of the Story: In two simple, yet very effective words, “Patience” and “Time”.

Patient is the key. Always have patience and keep working towards your goal no matter how difficulties you pass through, how many critics you face. Never ever get saddened and never get frustrated. Calm.

time_patienceGive time some Time. Time is the most important thing which has the ability to change everything. Whatever work we do it takes time. Tajmahal took 20 long years to get completed and once it got completed, it is known as one of the wonders of the world, it has become the Symbol of Love.

Have passion and be patient towards your goals and at the end of the day, you will find yourself at the top of the world.

Keep Smiling… 🙂

Story Credit: Unknown

Happy New Year

2013 year has been a splendid year for all of us. If (some of you) are thinking otherwise about 2013 and feel that it was quite a tough year, then think again!

Every year (with time) brings new hope, brings new experiences, brings new confidence, brings new positive expectations, brings new aspirations and all these lead to new learnings, new lessons of life, humanity and happiness.

Tough time, mournful days and soreness are just imaginary words which doesn’t exists. These all are, I believe (I may be wrong) is state of mind. When we face tough times, it actually give us a chance to learn. It gives us chance to sharpen our mental knives. These situations make us tougher and we must learn from these conditions rather than blaming our time, current year or luck.

We all have learned a lot in these earlier flourishing years and will enjoy its returns till our death-bed. Every year teaches us something new and brings new challenges which makes us smarter, wiser and intellectual.

Year 2013 brought smiles on our lips, rejuvenated us, built new as well as strengthen relationships. We met old friends, erased our grudges with those who hurt us in the past, inspired many and got inspired, did mistakes and learned from those mistakes. In the midst of this topsy-turvy ride we never forgot to smile and never lost courage. We bounced back with a bang and achieved acme.

Today on the last day of this incredible 2013, I am personally grateful for all your tremendous support, precious guidance and life changing tips which made my year. We are entering into 2014 with beautiful treasured memories which will water our soul throughout our life.

I wish you a very beautiful, rewarding new year filled with positive thoughts, abundance, joy, and treasured moments.

May 2014 be your best year yet!

Please take care of yourself as you are apple of someone’s eyes.

Keep Smiling… 🙂

Lessons I learned in 2013

Like earlier years of my life, this year too has been a great learning year. I learned a lot especially on Investing Money and Time (Now have become my favorites).

The main Goal of 2014 year is again learning big secrets of Investing Money, building Network and read lots and lots of books on Investment Strategies and Self-Development. Fingers crossed.

lessons-learnedHere are the listed lessons which I learned in this wonderful year of mine. 🙂

  1. Always have patience.
  2. Don’t fool yourself. If you complete your goal, celebrate and if you fail, find a way to criticise yourself.
  3. Always take responsibility.
  4. Surround yourself with people who makes you Smile, Happy and are Positive.
  5. Don’t join easy crowd. Go where the pressure to perform is high.
  6. Never waste your time. Utilize your time in self-development.
  7. Always Trust your fellows. Never at any cost mistrust your loved ones.
  8. Learned lots of new lessons and secrets on Investment Strategies. (This is also my 2014 Goal.)
  9. Don’t spend Money and Time which has depreciating values.
  10. Your life changes when you change.
  11. It doesn’t depend how much time you work for, what truly matters is the value you are putting in time of working.
  12. You always reap, what you sow. There is no shortcut for success and learning.
  13. Always have a short-term and long-term visions for your Personal developments, Financial planning and most importantly your Life.
  14. Always have courage. What scares you the most, do that first.
  15. Take Risks.
  16. When you face any problems or an obstacle, spend more time and effort on solution rather than the problem.
  17. Always test your Brain, Heart and Emotions in tough times.
  18. Keep emotions in check.
  19. Pen down (or keep records) the new learnings in your diary.
  20. Gain knowledge and take Actions accordingly.
  21. When you don’t feel like doing any productive work like reading or working for your goals, take an off. Don’t work or read with absent-minded.

And finally the best one which I learned last month: I know nothing (Don’t assume a single second that you have become the Smartest person), so will keep learning till I die.

Keep Smiling… 🙂