Depression. Even pronouncing this word makes us uncomfortable. Unfortunately the fact is people go in depression. But when they come out of it and defeat the depression, they become leaders. They become inspirational.
When someone who is close to your heart goes in depression then you always want to be with them. You want to show your unconditional love and support. You want to help them and you want to try your best to pull him or her out of the negative state of his/her mind. I still remember, few years back one of my close friend went in depression. Extreme Depression. We used to meet every evening and had lots of fun. Suddenly he stopped meeting. No phone calls. He wasn’t picking up my calls. Some weeks later, got to know about him from his parents. I was very upset.
Few weeks later, we met again but not at our regular meeting point. He wanted to meet me at some isolated place. We met. That day I got to learn a bit of ins and outs of depression. I reacted with positive energy and we talked what he loved the most, body building. With god’s grace, he is back.
Make sure you are positive enough and don’t let victim’s negative energy and despondency enter in your shielded body.
They need steady, supportive friends to rely on in their times of need. If you’re the friend of a crestfallen and are confused, don’t know how to react or help your beautiful friend then follow these simple steps. I know, reading is different and implementing is bit different but still we can try our best to give a helping hand.
- Be a Good Listener – Listen emphatically. Be a compassionate listener. Don’t give advice. Try to understand them and you only can understand them by listening. Once they get a little bit of faith in you, they will open up slowly. It will take time but be patient. They surely will.
- Appreciative Smile and Be Polite – Always keep smiling when you interact with the victim. Be polite. Your smile will act as a biggest motivational reason for them. Again your smile must not get converted into laughter as they may take it in a negative fashion. Initially they might feel uncomfortable but as I said once they get faith in you they will start absorbing your positive energy from your smiling face and politeness.
- Support – Be supportive. Remember they went in depression due to some reason. Reason could be anything. Support them. If they tried to do something in past and failed miserably, then support and ask them to try again and make them feel that this time you will help him/her in achieving the goal.
- Encouragement – Encourage them at every point. Whatever point they make, even they seems wrong at some point, encourage them and simply don’t negate their words. The reason being is, if you try to negate their sentences then again it may hurt their feelings and which furthermore take them to deeper negative thoughts. Depressed people always think that whole world is against them. If you can’t be affirmative then simply don’t say anything. Just listen.
- Don’t make personal comments – Making personal comments may make depressed person angry. Personal comments should never be made even to those who are happy and positive. It affects the person. Believe me, it may encourage the victim for destructive attempts in anger. Decisions made in anger always ruin our lives.
- Respect their Isolation – They prefer to remain in Isolation. Even you feel negative vibrations in their isolation, don’t show to them but respect it and slowly try to make them comfortable. As time passes, you can try to ask them to come out of isolation. You need to be patient, calm and most importantly extreme positive. It takes time.
- Praise them – Try to understand what they like the most or what they liked in happier times. Praise genuinely and make them feel good. Ask for their advice. Talk what interests them and what they did to achieve their interests in past and praise genuinely. Make them realize that you can do it again and more effectively.
- Never mention about their depression. Never say words like, ‘You are in depression’ or ‘ You seems to be upset’ etc. No. Never. By using these words, you are simply making them realize that something extremely wrong with them and there is no solution to come out of it. Just imagine, if you have a wound in your leg which is giving you a hell of pain and some insect bites on that wound. How will you react? By using these words you are simply scratching their wounds. Rather make them feel that they are fine and these are temporary.
Please drop your valuable points and how you deal with such situations as it would be learning experience for all of us.
Keep Smiling…. 🙂