How to Avoid Relationship Breakups

Yesterday I got a call from one of my dearest friend. As soon as I picked up, I heard a mournful and grievous voice, “Aviral, it’s all over.” Pause. I reacted, “Hello!” Deep pause. I continued, “What happened?” I guessed right. He again had a terrible fight with his wife.

The way he narrated the whole story, it actually seemed that this time it was very deep fight. I listened him emphatically and patiently. I replied, “Let’s meet this evening.

We met at our meeting point. He has a smiling face, he is hilarious, vivacious and jaunty kind of guy. I always love him meeting. He refreshes you. Unfortunately, yesterday he was totally a different persona. Dejected, Sedate, Placid and deeply upset. I saw a 360 degrees turn in him. And why not. He had a horrifying fight with his lovely wife.

How we can avoid fights from our loved ones and how can we be a helping hand to our loved ones?

Stop the Blame Game: You hit me once, I hit you twice. Blame goes the same way and blaming the person is not the solution. Rather you are simply increasing your blameconcerns and pain. It is like a chain reaction which never ends. Stop blaming your loved ones for issues which has no value at all.

Kick your Ego out: EGO, three-letter word but these letters can ruin more than thirty years of your life.

Be Patient: Everything takes its own time. When you get a scratch on your say hands, you take medicines and ointment and it takes time to heal. You simply cannot get rid of it as soon as you take medication. Similarly, give time some time to understand the scenario, your partner and most importantly your nearby atmosphere. Time heals everything but you need to be patient. Understanding your partner needs time.

Always complement each other: Yes this is the most beautiful part of our life. Complement each other. Everyday see something positive in your partner and complement her or him. It strengthens the relationships. Obviously complement has to be genuine.

complementsLend your Ears: Be a good Listener. In my friend’s case, he wanted to share his feeling so he did with me. I got his point and listened him patiently (without speaking a single word) which helped me to understand his situation. After listening to him, we discussed the solution not the problems. Discussing the problems actually start a blame game. Had I start giving advice without even listening to him, I would have made the situation worst.

Never Argue: I will surely win an argument but I will surely lose a partner for my life. On the other hand, if I love my friend or partner, I will lose or stop the arguments because I don’t want to lose him or her.

respectRespect each other: This is my heart of all the points listed here. Disrespecting our partners always leads to disasters to happen and which further leads to unexpected ending. We start losing faith and trust. If your partner is making a point then show respect. Treat others the way you want to be treated. If you want respect you must give respect. Respecting your partner cements your bonding.

Be Appreciative and Supportive: Always appreciate and support whatever they do. If someone is putting some efforts to make you happy or satisfied, appreciate it with smile. Say Thank you from bottom of your heart. Trust me, they will put more efforts to make you happy.

Never React: Feeling upset? Angry? Someone trying to provoke you? Never react spontaneously to any weird situations. Reacting spontaneously makes things more painful and worst. Rather take a deep breath and think for a while. It will give you the best and best solution to face the scenario.

Give Space: Stop being a shadow or reflection. Just imagine, if I keep asking you something nonstop then wouldn’t it make you irritating? We must care our loved ones but no one likes too over caring. After some time, it start taking shape of forced love. Too much of involvement becomes a hammering. You cannot win a heart forcefully, can you?

togetherSpend Time together: Go for outing at least once a week. It gives you privacy and different atmosphere makes your relationship rejuvenating and deplete your sorrows.

I hope these above listed points are easy to understand. Spread love and happiness.

Keep Smiling… 🙂

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Story of a Cactus

A cactus stood all alone in the desert, wondering why it was stuck in the middle of nowhere.

I do nothing but stand tall here all day,” it sighed. “What use am I? I am the ugliest plant in the desert. My spines are thick and prickly, my leaves are rubbery and tough, my skin is thick and bumpy. I can’t offer shade or juicy fruit to any passing traveler. I don’t see that I am any use at all.”

 

All it did was stood in the sun day after day, growing taller and fatter. Its spines grew longer and its leaves tougher, and it swelled here and there until it was lumpy and lopsided all over. It truly was strange-looking. “I wish I could do something useful.” it sighed.

By day hawks circled high overhead. “What can I do with my life?” the cactus called.

Whether they heard or not, the hawks sailed away. At night, the moon floated into the sky and cast its pale glow on the desert floor. “What good can I do with my life?” the cactus repeated. The moon only stared coldly as it mounted its course.

A lizard crawled by, leaving a little trail in the sand with its tail. “What worthy deed can I do?” The cactus asked.

You?” the lizard laughed, pausing a moment. “Worthy deed? Why you can’t do anything! The hawks circled way overhead, tracing delicate patterns for us all to admire. The moon hangs high like a lantern at night, so we can see our ways home to our loved ones. Even I, the lowly lizard have something to do. I decorate the sands with these beautiful brushstrokes as I pull my tail along. But you? You do nothing but get uglier every day.

And so it went on, year after year. At last the cactus grew old and it knew its time was short.

Oh Lord,” it cried out, “I have wondered so long and I have tried so hard. Forgive me if I have failed to find something worthy to so. I fear that now it’s too late,” but just then cactus felt a strange stirring and unfolding, and it knew a surge of joy that erased all despair. At its very tip, like a sudden crown, a glorious flower suddenly opened in bloom.

Never had the desert known such a blossom. Its fragrance perfumed the air far and wide and brought happiness to all passing by. The butterflies paused to admire its beauty, and that night even moon smiled when it rose to find such a treasure.

The cactus heard a voice. “You have waited long,” Lord said. “The heart that’s seeks to do good reflects my glory, and will always bring something worthwhile to the world, something in which all can rejoice – even if for only a moment.

Moral of the Story: In two simple, yet very effective words, “Patience” and “Time”.

Patient is the key. Always have patience and keep working towards your goal no matter how difficulties you pass through, how many critics you face. Never ever get saddened and never get frustrated. Calm.

time_patienceGive time some Time. Time is the most important thing which has the ability to change everything. Whatever work we do it takes time. Tajmahal took 20 long years to get completed and once it got completed, it is known as one of the wonders of the world, it has become the Symbol of Love.

Have passion and be patient towards your goals and at the end of the day, you will find yourself at the top of the world.

Keep Smiling… 🙂

Story Credit: Unknown