Yesterday I got a call from one of my dearest friend. As soon as I picked up, I heard a mournful and grievous voice, “Aviral, it’s all over.” Pause. I reacted, “Hello!” Deep pause. I continued, “What happened?” I guessed right. He again had a terrible fight with his wife.
The way he narrated the whole story, it actually seemed that this time it was very deep fight. I listened him emphatically and patiently. I replied, “Let’s meet this evening.”
We met at our meeting point. He has a smiling face, he is hilarious, vivacious and jaunty kind of guy. I always love him meeting. He refreshes you. Unfortunately, yesterday he was totally a different persona. Dejected, Sedate, Placid and deeply upset. I saw a 360 degrees turn in him. And why not. He had a horrifying fight with his lovely wife.
How we can avoid fights from our loved ones and how can we be a helping hand to our loved ones?
Stop the Blame Game: You hit me once, I hit you twice. Blame goes the same way and blaming the person is not the solution. Rather you are simply increasing your concerns and pain. It is like a chain reaction which never ends. Stop blaming your loved ones for issues which has no value at all.
Kick your Ego out: EGO, three-letter word but these letters can ruin more than thirty years of your life.
Be Patient: Everything takes its own time. When you get a scratch on your say hands, you take medicines and ointment and it takes time to heal. You simply cannot get rid of it as soon as you take medication. Similarly, give time some time to understand the scenario, your partner and most importantly your nearby atmosphere. Time heals everything but you need to be patient. Understanding your partner needs time.
Always complement each other: Yes this is the most beautiful part of our life. Complement each other. Everyday see something positive in your partner and complement her or him. It strengthens the relationships. Obviously complement has to be genuine.
Lend your Ears: Be a good Listener. In my friend’s case, he wanted to share his feeling so he did with me. I got his point and listened him patiently (without speaking a single word) which helped me to understand his situation. After listening to him, we discussed the solution not the problems. Discussing the problems actually start a blame game. Had I start giving advice without even listening to him, I would have made the situation worst.
Never Argue: I will surely win an argument but I will surely lose a partner for my life. On the other hand, if I love my friend or partner, I will lose or stop the arguments because I don’t want to lose him or her.
Respect each other: This is my heart of all the points listed here. Disrespecting our partners always leads to disasters to happen and which further leads to unexpected ending. We start losing faith and trust. If your partner is making a point then show respect. Treat others the way you want to be treated. If you want respect you must give respect. Respecting your partner cements your bonding.
Be Appreciative and Supportive: Always appreciate and support whatever they do. If someone is putting some efforts to make you happy or satisfied, appreciate it with smile. Say Thank you from bottom of your heart. Trust me, they will put more efforts to make you happy.
Never React: Feeling upset? Angry? Someone trying to provoke you? Never react spontaneously to any weird situations. Reacting spontaneously makes things more painful and worst. Rather take a deep breath and think for a while. It will give you the best and best solution to face the scenario.
Give Space: Stop being a shadow or reflection. Just imagine, if I keep asking you something nonstop then wouldn’t it make you irritating? We must care our loved ones but no one likes too over caring. After some time, it start taking shape of forced love. Too much of involvement becomes a hammering. You cannot win a heart forcefully, can you?
I hope these above listed points are easy to understand. Spread love and happiness.